


How to Rock 'n' Roll

by Apostat3



Category: Original Work
Genre: Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apostat3/pseuds/Apostat3
Summary: Robot man Dee and his buddy Sam go on a space adventure.





	How to Rock 'n' Roll

The blast left the whole derelict rocking and sent Dee stumbling into the nearest guardrail. He clung to it desperately, lest he topple over and fall into the seemingly endless abyss of the old engine core. The clang of metallic hands on the metal bar echoed out in the aftermath of the explosion, as the empty ship returned to silence once more.

“ _ That's an impact into deck 5, Dee. _ ” came a woman’s voice, crackling over the communication unit mounted to the side of Dee’s head. 

“I had noticed, thank you.” the robot’s modulated voice replied, the sound of it like hearing someone’s voice through speakers. “There's a sort of alarm system on this thing for that, called big-fuckin’-explosion. Maybe we should get one.” The robot pushed off the railing, straightened his coat and continued - albeit more tentatively now - down the narrow walkway. All around him across the humongous chamber were dim, red warning lights running on the final spurts of power from the ship’s ruined generators. 

“ _ Very funny, Dee, _ ” the voice sounded more bored than annoyed. “ _ Just hurry it on up before they decide to fire at the engine core again. You're already lucky that they didn't destroy that first. _ ” Dee pulled his gun from his hip, a bulky handgun with a long, thick barrel adorned with various stamps and souvenirs from different interplanetary destinations. He turned and spread his arms wide, as though he could actually see the woman on the radio, and was gesturing to her. He continued to walk backwards along the bridge. 

“Alright, alright, I hear ya. So what am I looking for again? Big blue glowy box, right? I'm seeing a lot of things that could fit that description. What's it called?” The robot turned to face where he was going again, and saw he was approaching the central spire. The long pillar ran the full height of the room, and attached to it - on the level where Dee stood now - was the centre of maintenance for the core. 

“ _ A Matter Modulator, Dee. _ ” the woman said. “ _ You know, just the most valuable piece of scrap you could ever find on a derelict ship like this. I thought you said you read the briefing I wrote? _ ”

“Hey, I did read it!” The robot sounded defensive. “Maybe... I just didn't pay much attention.”

“ _ You know, for a mechanical man who could have been programmed to be anything at all, you're a real fucking idiot. _ ” The covers over Dee’s eyes came down into a frown, and he held his hand, still holding his gun, up to the comm. 

“Hey, no need to blame the programming. I am a self made man, through and through.”

“ _ That actually explains a lot. _ ” She sighed and considered saying more but, with a shake of her head, turned her focus back to the mission. “ _ Okay; I’m going to enable a visual link with you, so I can see what you see. This might sting a little. _ ”

“I'm ready when you- Ah!” Dee let out a yelp as he felt an unfamiliar and very strong jolt of electricity in his head. The lights in his eyes flickered for a moment. He heard the woman on the comms laugh. 

“ _ So I see. _ ” He heard her crack her knuckles on the other side of the radio before she continued. “ _ Alright, you see that console there? Little one, on the left. Turn that on and go to… _ ”

Dee rolled his robotic eyes. 

 

“ _ Now just push that button there, and- voilà! One Matter Modulator, coming up. _ ” Dee watched as a small hatch opened on the pillar with a little hiss of steam. The compartment opened and a small mechanical arm extended, holding…

“Nothing?” Dee cocked his head, staring at the arm. “Is there supposed to be nothing? Tell me there's supposed to be nothing. You know, this could be a neat trick. Maybe I should…”

“ _ I don't understand… We did everything right; it should be right there. Maybe we- _ ” the woman was cut off abruptly as the sound of a shot slamming into the console beside Dee snapped him back into focus. His gun was still in his hand, so he wheeled around, pulling it up as he went. His reactions were faster than the man at the end of the walkway, who had lowered his rifle a little, not expecting his shot to miss. That was all the opening Dee needed, and he let off a single shot. A moment later, the man was slumped back against the door behind him. 

“Sam, I think I know what happened to the matter mono...gator..thing... Tell me, how long have I got until the cruiser can put a hole in this ship bigger than we can cope with?” Dee set off at a jog along the bridge, keeping his pistol at the ready as he went. 

“ _ I'd say you've got only a few minutes, tops. How come? What're you planning, Dee? _ ” Sam narrowed her eyes, watching her display of Dee’s vision intently, as though she could discern the secret mechanisms of his mind if she squinted hard enough. Dee’s faceplating slid into a smile. 

“I hope you're watching closely, Sam, ‘cause I’m about to teach you how to rock 'n’ roll.” Dee reached the door, passing the dead body without so much as a glance toward it, and entered into the elevator. “Feel free to take notes.”

“ _ Dee… _ ” Sam’s voice came warningly in his head, but he was no longer listening. He reached into his belt and pulled out a small package, rectangular in shape, which had been carefully wrapped. The lights in Dee’s eyes gently brightened as he looked down at it. 

 

“He's coming,” came the gruff voice of the lead mercenary, standing at the front of his group of four infantry. All were armed, some with shotguns, others with rifles or sidearms. The leader held a wicked looking boltgun. “Get yourselves ready; he could kill three of us before we even move, so I want everyone on top form. Understood?” The leader received a series of nods and half-assed salutes, then turned his attention back to the elevator. He could see the meter above it ticking up, showing the carriage coming closer and closer. After a few long, tense moments, the meter dinged, indicating it had arrived. The doors slid open to reveal…

“Nothing? He was supposed to be in here, right, boss?” came the voice of one of the lower ranked mercenaries. The boss turned to him and gestured with his head to the elevator. 

“Get in there and look, recruit. You two, flank either side of the door. You pair are with me, back here, see?” The leader levelled his gun at the door and watched his squad arrange themselves as he had dictated. When everyone was set up, he nodded go to the recruit. Cautiously, the man stepped inside, casting his eyes all over the small room. 

“Nothing here, boss. It's totally… wait a minute. There's a little package here, attached to the panel. I think it's a-” the recruit never got to finish his hypothesis as the concealed bomb detonated. It killed him instantly as the blast blew out of the elevator at speed, roasting the two soldiers on either side of the door. With three down before anyone could move, the leader was forced to cover his face from the heat of the blast. In that moment, the magnets which kept the elevator in place gave out, and the carriage suddenly dropped. Diving from the top of it, where he had until then been hiding, Dee curled into a roll and came up with his gun poised. He fired three shots in rapid succession, allowing the recoil of the third to spin his gun around his finger before taking hold of the handle again after a full rotation. He watched the three figures before him topple to the ground and, as he did so, pretended to blow smoke from the top of his gun. Reaching down to the body holding the boltgun, he plucked a small blue, glowy box from his belt. 

“That was amazing! Man, I am just the best, aren't I?” Dee asked no one in particular, gesturing with his gun hand to the chaotic scene as he walked backwards away, turning it into a thumbs-up at the end. “I really am. Truly stunning, like an artist.”

“ _ Come on, you can only boast to the others if you get back here before you're blown into oblivion by a giant laser. Get moving. _ ” Sam tried to maintain her formal, mission demeanour, but Dee could hear her smile.

“Yes, ma’am.” Dee tossed up the modulator, caught it again and tucked it away into his belt. He gave his gun another twirl for good measure, then set off at a jog down the dark, winding corridors of the ship. He passed through a door and almost lost his footing as suddenly the vacuum of space pulled at him. Luckily, Sam anticipated the issue and activated magnets in Dee’s soles in the same moment, keeping him tethered to the ground.

“ _ Gotcha. _ ”

Dee looked out into the void as he continued to run - in a far more laboured manner, as he fought the magnets for control of his feet - and saw the great cruiser that was the cause of his haste. The giant battleship, painted a variety of crimsons and blacks, had its considerable cannons pointed towards the much smaller derelict vessel on which Dee stood. He could see a deep, sapphire energy gathering in the end of the largest of its weapons, mounted upon the bottom of the vessel and so large it spanned half of the ship’s own length. If he had a throat, Dee would have gulped.

“How close?” He asked, still staring off through the puncture as he ran. 

“ _ Not close enough. We don't have time for you to get all the way back here, disengage ourselves and get out of range. It's looking bad, Dee. You need to be getting off the ship, like, right now... Are you listening, Dee? Why are you leaning out of the ship like that? Get moving. _ ”

“Separate from the dock, Sam. I'll get off the ship right here.” Dee peered around the hull of the ship and, in the distance, he could make out the outline of his own, significantly smaller vessel. 

“ _ Are you kidding?”  _ Dee was sure he could hear the sound of steam coming from Sam’s ears over the radio. He wondered why she continued to be his handler after so long, if she couldn't get behind his so utterly fantastic plans. “ _ Get moving right now, Dee, we don't have time to argue. _ ”

“That's right, we don't. I said I was going to teach ya, and so I'm gonna do that, and you're gonna stop arguing.” As he was talking, Dee ran to the remaining wall of the corridor, braced against it, and disabled the magnets in his boots. 

“ _ Dee, don't you dare... _ ” As per usual, Dee had stopped listening. Instead, he kicked off the wall and drifted forward with speed, tightening his grip on his gun. At last, he watched his own ship disconnect from the dock further down the ship, and the engines light up. 

“ _ You know no one has the gear to open up the airlock for you, Dee, not in these conditions. You're stuck out there. _ ” Sam had finally moved past the scolding element of her anger, and now sounded concerned. One of her displays of Dee’s vision shut down for a moment before quickly reactivating, and she realised he had winked to her. 

“It's there's one thing in this life I can do, it’s make an entrance.” Dee watched the ship coming closer, adjusting to put the side of its hull directly in his path. Dee could see the outline of the airlock. 

“ _ I hope you know what you're doing… _ ” 

Sam was surprised when she heard Dee laugh. 

“When do I ever?” 

Sam smiled.

As the ship drew closer, Dee once again closed one of his eyes. He raised his gun and was perfectly still for a long time, waiting. Finally, with no warning, when the moment came, he fired a single shot. The bullet slid perfectly into a groove where the doors joined, wedging itself in between the magnets which held them together and forcing them millimetres apart. It proved enough. A moment later, Dee caught the door and reactivated his own magnets, sticking fast to the ship, he forced the doors open enough to slide through. He plucked the shot from the door as he did so. He then released the doors and they slammed together, followed by a hiss as the room pressurised itself once more. Suddenly he heard Sam - who had up until now been holding her breath - laugh. 

“ _You stupid, insane fucking robot._ ” Her laugh tapered off into her speech. “ _Get up here. I still need that modulator, in case you forgot amidst all those theatrics. Double time it, now.”_

“Yes, ma’am. Must admit, maybe I did forget -  just a little.” Dee holstered his pistol for the first time since he'd been on the walkway and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the airlock to do its work. 

“ _ Dee? _ ” Dee’s eyes unfocused.

“Yes?”

“ _ Good job. _ ” Sam spoke quietly. Dee chuckled.

“I aim to please.”

 


End file.
